Falling Petals
by Lamento Eroico
Summary: A look into Furiae's hidden madness before Manah drives her to suicide.


"Don't think of me as a traitor, Caim."

To be honest, this was the first time that I had realized that Inuart was even in the room. Since Caim had walked in, all that my eyes saw were him. There he stood in full regalia, looking as determined and strong as I had ever seen him. He would have made a wonderful King. To think that he had made it this far...

In vain, it was. I know not of my brother's entire agenda, but as far as I could tell, he was standing there with sword in hand playing hero like he did when we were children. He was always determined to be a leader, always wanted to save a fair maiden in distress. Well, if that was what he wanted, he can have it now. He can take me from here and we can forget the seal and die in each other's embrace. And there we can linger on together in death as the final dying honor of our father's legacy.

Yes, that would be a glorious end for us. It would be a glorious end for _all_ of us. I felt a sense of pride just thinking about it. Yes, my brother must feel the same way. He must...

"We are creating a new world—a place where Furiae lives!"

My stomach turned at that remark, and my eyes dropped to the floor. I hated keeping this façade. I hated hiding from Inuart. I am not Furiae anymore; no longer does she walk this planet. This world will not be recreated, it will be destroyed. Inuart needs to stop with his false hopes so that Caim and I could take the world apart. Besides, Inuart was being used by Manah like an old rag—she will use him to clean up her messes, and then she will throw him away as if he were rubbish. And yet I know I would not stop her. I would not try—

"Hear what our priestess has to say! We can survive!"

The hair stood up on the back of my neck. _She_ was coming. I had to do something, and I had to do something quickly. If Inuart were here when Caim took me away, he would ruin everything. He would interfere and all would be lost. I couldn't risk it. I wouldn't risk it.

I put my façade back on and walked up to Inuart, lightly placing a hand on his arm. He immediately looked at me, and I could see his extreme affection behind those maddening red eyes. The look in his eyes made me sick, and although I wanted desperately to shove him away, I kept my mask on despite my inner annoyance with him.

"Inuart," I said in a voice that surprised even me. I was gentle yet firm, just as my mother always had been. Oh how glorious it would be when I went down with her name... "You mustn't stay here. Please, go away now."

I half expected him to insist on staying. To make sure he understood how dire this was, I threw myself onto the ground as if weak. The entire world froze as I awaited some form of response. A feeling of extreme impatience arose in my chest. I could almost hear her footsteps now... those maddening footsteps. She was getting closer. Even if Inuart left, perhaps she could still ruin everything. Despite myself, a scowl appeared on my face. Seconds continued to pass, until finally he turned and slowly walked out.

I felt myself smile. Yes, this would be it! This would be the part where Caim takes me in his arms and frees the world of this sick containment! I turned my head to look at him, a small smile touching at my face.

Her footsteps grew louder. He hesitated. My brow furrowed in frustration and desperation. No, not now. Not now—

"The watchers do not laugh. The watchers must not wake."

No! Not now! Not that voice! That horrific, disgusting, manly voice. It was too late. She was speaking. The old Gods had her, and now she would have me. She would have me, and Caim would not. No! NO!

Caim took a step forward. Yes, that's it, brother. Please, please! Together, we can take the world apart!

Before he had time to make another move, my entire body felt heavy. I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. What was happening? What was that witch doing? She was ruining everything! As if lifted by the great hands of the Gods, I went flying back against my will and hit the large glass prism that I never knew the need for.

"Lalalalala, lalalalala, lalalalala..."

No, NO! What was she doing! NO! If she doesn't release me, this will all be ruined! I'm not her Goddess; I'm not anyone's Goddess! I cannot keep playing this charade. Let me just die! Release me, witch! Let me go! Caim! Why isn't he helping me?

"I'm just a girl, a normal girl... What's this? This dirt?"

My breath caught in my throat. She was... reading my thoughts. My mind swam in the idea. This isn't right. This can't be happening... A feeling of dizziness swept over me.

"No... Don't..." was all I could breathe out. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caim. He was just standing there. I was being held prisoner... and he was just standing there! Why? Why now?

"Forget the seal and help me!" the witch yelled. I caught a glimpse of Caim again. "Stupid man! Please help me! Help me! Please... hold me, my brother."

NO.

"Stop it!" I tried to yell. It came out in the most unconvincing tone I'd ever heard.

"I can see into your heart," she said.

"No," I said in desperation. She can't do this to me. She can't. SHE CAN'T. SHE SHALL DIE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. "No, that's not true. You lie."

"I hate you! I hate you! Filth! This world needs destroying!" rage overcame me as she continued to speak. Why was Caim still doing nothing? Did he not understand what was to happen? Or did he... not wish for it to happen...? The rage faded and sorrow and confusion took its place. No. No, that can't be. It can't be...

Oh, mother! I have sinned!

"I'm dirty! I'm dirty!" Manah continued on. "I'm no Goddess! I renounce it! Please, please, my brother..."

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. I repressed tears. The weight was lifted from me, and no longer was I leaning against the prism.

"So..." Manah said. "You failed at playing Goddess. Now what?"

Now what... indeed. I merely looked at her, that foul witch of a child. She stared at me with those awful red eyes, dark and tainted like my own soul had become. For the first time in years, I felt sane again. Reality rushed back into my thoughts in such a way that it forced me to take a step back.

I was ready, not more than thirty seconds ago. I was ready to bring my brother to his death. I was ready to kill the man I love. I was ready to soil my father's name, and bring shame to our family. I truly was no Goddess. I was not fit to carry the seal; I was not fit to protect anyone. Not even myself. Not even my brother. Not even Inuart.

My chest trembled as I exhaled. No, no, everything was all wrong. I was all wrong. I looked over at Caim as I continued to fight back tears. I just wanted something, anything from him. Forgive me, my brother. Accept me. Please, please, just don't leave me here like this. Please, my love, my brother, please.

He could not keep his gaze, and he turned from me, closing his eyes.

My entire soul shattered, and I could feel the remnants of it slowly sliding down on the inside of my body. It weighed on my mind, and I stumbled backwards. No. _No_. This wasn't fair. Not even my own brother forgave me. I caught myself on the prism I had just been leaning on. This was my fault. This was my entire fault. I had wronged everyone, and I no longer wished to die in my brother's arms.

Whimpering, I looked around the room for some mode of escape. I needed to get away. Manah would never let me leave. Caim would not take me. Caim would never forgive me... Caim would never love me again. A door was not an option. And so something caught my eye behind me. A dagger. Yes, how sweet it could be... final escape. A final chance to redeem myself for my sins.

Without thinking twice, I turned and grabbed it from the rag doll it was stuck in. In one swift motion, I tore it out from the doll's face, spun on my heels—I wanted Caim to see exactly what I was doing—and I plunged the dagger deep in my breast. It slid in smoothly, and the sheer smoothness behind the force made my breath catch.

It didn't hurt. I felt warm blood fall from the wound. It was soothing, in a way. My heart was slowing, and I was bleeding my sins away. My head spun once, and I once again had to catch myself on that giant prism. It was such a glorious feeling, this feeling of numbness and purification. I looked over at Caim. He stood there, watching. For once, I didn't want his eyes on me. I had sinned against him. Everything that had happened had been my fault.

"Don't look," I said as darkness slapped away my vision, "at me."

The world around me went black, and I suddenly felt nothing. The only thing that touched any one of my senses was the sound of my mother's voice, singing a song she had often sung to Caim and me when we were children. Not so much a lullaby, but it was soothing nonetheless.

_I call out these prayers to the sky..._

_Heavy with thought..._

_See your face..._

* * *

_Author's Notes:  
Not being insane myself, I have no idea how convincing this was. It's been a long time since I played the first Drakengard, so I hope I got down all of Furiae's suppressed feelings as in character as I could. This is a story I really want input on, because although I'm not exactly Furiae's biggest fan, it'll help in the future when I write stories with Caim's perspective on his sister. So tell me what you think. Thanks!_


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